【 – 高中作文】
篇一:《对比型作文范文点评》
CET对比型作文范文点评
林明金
（一）对比两种观点
Directions: For this part, you are allowed thirty minutes to write a composition on the topic: Love and Learning You should write at least 100 words, and your composition should be based on the outline(given in Chinese) below:
1．有的老师认为大学生不应该谈恋爱。
2．有的学生则认为不应该禁止大学生谈恋爱。
3．我的观点是……
Love and Learning
Some college teachers argue that students should give up love for the sake of learning. They maintain that love is time consuming and tears the students away from learning. If a student falls in love, he will certainly fall behind in his courses.
Students , however, hold that forbidding love affairs among college students is no good. They tell you that some one falls in love with someone and he studies harder and he makes greater progress while someone and he studies harder and he makes greater progress while some one else has not fallen in love but he cannot concentrate himself on learning.
As a coin has two sides, love can be both positive and negative. If you do not give yourself away in love but take it as a drive, you will make more progress in your learning and have good scores. But if you forget everything else except love, then you will become a "perfect" lover and a definite loser in your studies.
此类提纲式作文在四级考试的写作中是比较常见的，同时也是比较好写的。在主题、框架、段落中心思想都基本上已给出的情况下，考生只需要以提纲为基础，进一步发展段落即可。
对于第一、二段来说，只要把汉语的提纲翻译过来就成了主题句。然后采用类比、例举等方式层层分析，细致地阐述其原因。阐述是应特别注重理据的典型性和逻辑性，也就是说，老师认为学生不可谈恋爱的主要道理在哪里，学生认为可以谈恋爱的主要道理又在哪里。在第三段，考生须表明自己的观点，一般都比较折中，但总的来说，应该有客观、公正的判断。在上面的文章中， 作者以”As a coin has …”以及”If…”来进行判断，既很好地表现了不能一概而论的观点，而且更进一步提出在什么条件下具有正面意义。可以说这是在紧扣主题的基础上有条件地宣扬了自己的积极态度。整篇文章也因此显得既完整又有条理。
（二） 对比两种事物
Directions: For this part, you are allowed thirty minutes to write a composition on the topic: The
Difference Between College Life and High School Life. You should write at least 100 words,
The Difference Between College Life and High School Life
As a freshman, I can’t become accustomed to the new life in a short time. The reason is that there're many differences between college life and high school life.
In my opinion, the most obvious difference is the way of studying. We used to follow the plans the teachers made for us. We went to class, did the homework and took the exams, as the teachers instructed. But now it is up to us to plan our own work, and this is one of the reasons why I can't get used to college life quickly. High school teachers mainly taught us knowledge in the books, and we would receive and store all they said in our brains, while in college, we're expected to develop the ability of learning by ourselves. We not only receive new knowledge but also use our imagination. What is more important, we need to be creative.
Another difference is that college life is not so tense as high school life. When we studied in high school, we were tired of the endless examinations. Now the exams are only held once or twice a term, which makes us feel much more relaxed. And plenty of spare time is given to us. To be successful, we need to make good use of the spare time. Some of us may go to the libraries, looking for information we need. Some may take part in various kinds of associations, such as the Students' Union, to exercise their abilities. In a word, college life is more colorful than high school life.
Apart from the differences mentioned above, the life style differs much from what we used to have. For most of us, it's the first time we left our parents and live on our own. Therefore, we need to learn how to arrange our time. For example, what time to attend the classes, what time to complete the assignment, and what time to prepare for exams. Moreover, We need to clean our dormitories, make the beds and wash the clothes. Our lives in college are centered around
classrooms, libraries and dormitories. When we encounter difficulties, we have to overcome them alone.
My experience in college, brief as it is, makes me feel that college life is very unforgettable. So long as you treasure every day, college life will become a pleasant memory in the rest your life. 此类文章为命题作文。Direction中除了给出题目外，并没有其它的内容限制，导向性语言或素材。因此，考生应根据题目弄清其范围及内涵。只有抓住题目的实质，才能切中题意。 在本篇文章中，作者一开始就抓住主要矛盾，提出问题，为下一段分析问题做了很好的铺垫。中学生活与大学生活有许多不同之处，关键是要找出最主要的差别。这有客观的因素，也可能有主观的因素。本文的第二段，作者从学习方式的差别开始，然后是时间安排的不自主性与自主性，生活方式的差异，逐一阐述，基本上达到了主次分明，条理清楚。最后，作者以积极的态度表明，只要珍惜时光，大学生活必将成为美好的记忆，对文章进行了一定的
升华，也使文章显得更加完整。
（三）对比两个人物
Directions: For this part, you are allowed thirty minutes to write a composition of no less than 100 words about two persons you know or admire.
Franklin and Emerson
Benjamin Franklin, born in Boston almost a century before Ralph Waldo Emerson was born there, lived long enough to see the straggling colonies grow into a young nation. Emerson, born only thirteen years after Franklin’s death, lived long enough to see a little nation grow to be a powerful one mighty people.
Franklin and Emerson are both typical Americans—taken together they give us the two sides of American character. Franklin stands for the real, and Emerson for the ideal. Franklin represents the prose of American life, and Emerson the poetry. Franklin’s power is limited by the bounds of common sense, while Emerson’s appeal is to the wider imagination. Franklin declares that honesty is the best policy; and Emerson insists on honesty is the only means whereby a man may be free to undertake higher things. Self-reliance was at the core of the doctrine of each of them, but one urged self-help in the material world and the other in the spiritual.
In the making of American people, in the training and in the guidance of this immense population, no two men have been more than these two sons of New England.
此类作文称之为提示作文。由于Direction中只给出笼统的范围和要求，考生有较大的空间去发挥自己的思维能力和写作水平，上乘之作也往往出自这样的题型。
本篇的Direction要求写出两个自己熟悉或敬慕的两个人，除此之外，别无其它的提示或信息。考生作文的第一步应该是先确定哪两个人自己比较熟悉，比较有东西可写；第二步，找出这两个人的共同点和不同之处。注意，不应该找两个毫无联系的人，因为在有限的时间里很难把两个毫无联系的人描述清楚。第三步，清楚自己与他们的联系或选择他们的原因。所以这样的作文也可以分做三段来写：第一段，简单地介绍这两人的背景，他们之间的联系；
第二段，重点描述他们的共同点和不同之处；第三段，简述自己选择描述他们的原因或他们对自己的影响。
在本篇作文中，作者介绍对比了他所景慕的两位代表性人物Franklin和Emerson 。
第一段首先简单地介绍了他们俩人各自的历史背景；第二段重点分析对比了他们的不同思想。这是本篇文章的重点，它充分体现了作者对这两位人物及美国历史的了解。最后，作者再对他们在美国历史上的地位做出总结。这也自然而然地体现出作者之所以以他们为主角的真正目的。作为英语四级的考生要写出这样深度的文章当然是不容易的，但是，本篇的思维模式，文章的布局层次等都是值得参考的。
（四）其它对比形式的文章
1） Youth
Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a power of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life.
Youth means a temperamental– predominance of courage over timidity, of the craving for adventure over the love of ease. it can exist in a man of sixty more than a boy of twenty. Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals.
Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, fear, self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust. Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being's heart the lure of wonder, the unfailing childlike query of what's next and the joy in the pursuit of living .In the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station: so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from the Infinite, so long are you young.
When the aerials are down, and your spirit is covered with snows of cynicism and the ice of pessimism, then you are grown old, even at twenty, but as long as your aerials are up, to catch waves of optimism, there is hope you may die young at eighty.
本文是写有关Youth的一篇散文。由于限定和内涵都不是很明确，一般很难运笔。这篇文章的优秀之处就是作者首先给Youth下了独特的定义，然后作者进一步以对比的方式分析了外在年龄与心理年龄的差别。整篇文章，对比分析，说理抒情，相得益彰，给人们留下了品味的空间。考生要学习的就是这种隐含的对比方式。
2） Welcome the New Century
Never before have the people witnessed and experienced so many changes as we do in the 20th century, and the world is changing so rapidly that we hardly have any time to think before we accept the new things. Now the 20th century is giving way to Year 2000 and the people are looking forward to the ringing of the bell for the new year. In the twilight of a new century, how should we dress up and get ready for the morning that might be more colorful, more glamorous but more changeable? And what heritage should we take with us to the new day that we have dreamt of? A retrospect of the past decades may shed light on our future.
The 20th century gives us so much pride and also so much shame. The development of science and technology has made us possible to travel in the outer space, and the means of transportation and communication is so advanced and convenient that we have claimed the earth "A Global Village". We have numerous inventions every day, trying to prove that we are far from the normal creatures. At the same time, however, we also invent so many costly and advanced weapons to kill. World War One didn't end all wars. Millions of lives are still consumed on the battlefields or in the Concentration Camps.
China's modern history is a history of humiliation. We have been repeatedly beaten not because we are bad, but just because we are not strong. Our rights have been repeatedly ignored not because we are inhuman, but just because interests take the place of justice. Our wish to
communicate has been repeatedly blockaded not because we are lack of understanding, but just because "the Iron Curtain" is too cold.
At the end of the 20th century, we see so many skyscrapers, so many wealthy people and so many gorgeous events, but we also see the diseases, poverty, pollution and abuses are still haunting us like the fantom. Will they all knock at the door of the century gate and get across? Mostly it is for people to decide what to take and what to leave behind. The new century is not an amount of time but should be a promised world where we live and enjoy on the equal and rational basis. Now the Triones are fading and the breeze is coming. Why not wake up, dress up and get ready?
这篇文章本来是要展望未来的。同学们大多也会依照这个思路描述未来怎么怎么的好。可是，在这篇文章中，作者的笔墨着眼于未来的却相当的少。他的思路是展望未来要回顾过去。而在即将过去的二使世纪，有好的地方，也有许多空前的人为灾难，作者对此做了重点的对比。最后作者的结论是二十一世纪会怎样就要看我们从二十世纪把什么东西带去，并呼吁我们为了更加美好的明天做好准备。这篇文章的独到之处就是作者并没有直接对二十一世纪进行猜想，而是通过对二十世纪的对比分析预示了未来。整篇文章说理清楚，对比分析得当，比单纯地罗列未来要深刻得多。考生应细细品位。
篇二:《作文”你可以和我不同“评析与范文示例》
2013合肥一模语文作文《你可以和我不同》评析及范文示例
作者：李卫全汪玉慧
一模考试的作文为命题作文，题为“你可以和我不同”。这个作文题立足于高中生基本是独生子女的现实，针对不少独生子女存在的以自我为中心，以“我”的标准要求他人，不能关注、尊重他人的问题，着力引导这样的价值导向：关注、尊重他人、他者的存在，具有接纳包容异己的胸襟和眼界。考生可以从深层次上挖掘创新的理念，现在全社会都在鼓励创新，通过技术手段的创新、管理模式的创新等，促进社会的发展。还可以联系儒家“和而不同”的思想，各种观点可以和谐并存，相互促进共同发展。
审题关键词一：不同。不同可以理解为差异，小到发型穿着，大到价值观、人生观。“不同”既可以是具体可感的，也可以是抽象的。既可以写人与人的不同，也可以写国家、民族文化、制度的不同。审题关键词二：可以。“可以”意味着权利，“可以”不是“应该”。审题关键词三：你。“你”的设定是多样的，但必须是具体的。
这是一道需认真思考，仔细审题的作文题。就阅卷情况来看，大部分考生的作文符合题意，立意较为丰富，如：只有尊重人与人之间的不同，世界才能缤纷多彩。你可以和我不同，意味着创新和发展。接纳不同，才能和谐。有的考生写父母对子女的期待，希望孩子能自由成长等。偏离题意的作文也不在少数。如有的把“你可以和我不同”写成“我可以和你不同”，大写我的追求如何独特。角度明显错误；有的从“不同”引入，然后就一味谈爱国、理性等话题，转移了话题；有的写父母的卑微辛苦，希望子女和自己不同，把“可以不同”写成了“应该不同”。此外，有的考生写希望好友的人生与自己不同，文章写得肤浅，缺乏深度；有的考生通篇古人，写成玄虚的文化散文；有的考生写“你”是过去的我、将来的我，构思过于
奇特，观点不清。还有一些考生没有弄清题目中“你”和“我”的关系，二者纠缠不清。就材料选择看，议论文的论据大多数不够新颖，记叙文多写父母子女及同学友情。
此次作文错别字出现不多，涂改不多，但不少考生书写不够端正。考生的文采有待加强，思想深度也普遍欠缺，这都提示了今后作文复习的重点。
考场优秀作文示例——
你可以和我不同
伏尔泰说：“你可以不同意我说的，但我誓死捍卫你说话的权利。”
中国的儒家经典言：“君子和而不同，小人同而不和。”
这相隔万里的思想碰撞，这力比千钧的真情呼告，这共振，这宣言，是人类文明史上的丰碑，是每一个独立个体应奉为圭臬的话——你可以和我不同！
你可以和我不同，个体的差异性织就了多彩的世界，描绘了盛世的自信。那百家争鸣的“喧闹”，引领的是智者对人文精神的“悠思”；那竹林七贤的“放荡”，透露着魏晋的“飘逸庄重”；那唐朝江岸远来的的“学问僧”、“波斯商”，那元廷朝堂上的“洋翰林”这些为中国人津津乐道的故事，这些创造中华五千年绚烂文化、延续中华自信开放民族精神的个体，谁能忽略他们的价值？{与范文比较的作文评价}.
你可以和我不同，我会细细“斟酌”你的风采。彼此间差异的碰撞，才会促发深思。
（事例论证省略
是啊，矛盾构成了事物，构成了事物的必然斗争与必然发展，那么，何须堵住他人之口，何须妄自菲薄呢？
敬爱的周总理告诉我们“求同存异”，只有这样我们才能探访真知、谋求合作又每日惊喜不断！
因为不同，民主、自由之梦离吾等不远；
因为不同，学海书山里有值得我们奉献一生的珍宝；
因为不同，我吟赏烟霞，留步百花丛，提笔纵马边塞远，独钓江雪懒回顾 你可以和我不同，因为世界因此而变得不同！
精彩语段——
伏尔泰说：“你可以不同意我说的，但我誓死捍卫你说话的权利。”
中国的儒家经典言：“君子和而不同，小人同而不和。”
这相隔万里的思想碰撞，这力比千钧的真情呼告，这共振，这宣言，是人类文明史上的丰碑，是每一个独立个体应奉为圭臬的话——你可以和我不同！
你可以和我不同，个体的差异性织就了多彩的世界，描绘了盛世的自信。那百家争鸣的“喧闹”，引领的是智者对人文精神的“悠思”；那竹林七贤的“放荡”，透露着魏晋的“飘逸庄重”；那唐朝江岸远来的的“学问僧”、“波斯商”，那元
廷朝堂上的“洋翰林”这些为中国人津津乐道的故事，这些创造中华五千年绚烂文化、延续中华自信开放民族精神的个体，谁能忽略他们的价值？
你可以和我不同，我会细细“斟酌”你的风采。彼此间差异的碰撞，才会促发深思。
你可以和我不同
天地者，万物之逆旅也，光阴者，百代之过客。各自行走于人生的征途中，你我各自珍藏起各自的特色与光芒，你可以和我不同，而拥有不同的世界才更曼妙多姿。
有人说，世界上没有两片相同的树叶，世界之大，芸芸众生，各不相同。你可以和我不同，是对他人价值的肯定与赞赏，是对彼此差异的尊重与平视，也是对自己人生的不怀疑与坚定。没有必要相同，没有必要整齐划一，不同便是最大的精彩，包容才是生命所在。
回望历史的烟尘，文革时期人与人皆相同，一律的灰色绿色军装，一律地崇拜热爱毛主席，一律以阶级斗争为生活的中心，相同的社会大背景之下潜藏着巨大的危机，社会的文明建设被摧毁，经济衰退，正是这所谓的相同的盲目激情留给后人一个多么惨痛的历史教训！
你可以和我不同，体现的是包容，是平等对待，是对多样性的认可及尊重。人生经历不同，价值观亦不同，每个人的生命与生活都不必崇拜追随他人的脚步，时代与潮流也不应该让我们屈服。历史的丰富与多彩也正是不同所构成的。
文革的教训告诉我们，人人皆不同的社会，包容的社会才是健康文明的社会。有人曾做过这样的调查，中国人心中的偶像经历了从陈景润到张海迪到马云再到姚明又到如今所谓的“明星”的变迁，也许正是这些人与人之间的不同，社会对不同价值取向的人的包容，才能让心中偶像的内涵更加丰富，而这更体现的是生命的品位提升以及社会文化多元化发展的体现。
但在现实生活中，又有多少人可以做到“你可以与我不同”的言行呢？总会有些上级要求下级必须做相同重复的工作，必须执行自己的命令；总会有些老师把学生像花草般修剪得整整齐齐而毫无特色可言。不必再以自我为中心，不要认为他人必须这样必须那样，你可以和我不同，我们都是平等存在的个体，差异永远存在。
时间荡乎洲涘渚崖之间，不辨牛马。在人类组成的历史洪流之中，不同与差异性各自成就不同的传奇人生，而包容便是历史的血液，凝集着平等与尊重。庄严地宣告，你可以和我不同，不同才是生命的本身价值所在，世界才更生动精彩。
（一考生）
你可以和我不同
孔子说：“君子和而不同。”每个人都有自己的观点和想法，都有自己的个性。 为什么要和而不同呢？人与人之间在正确的价值观念、社会道德上大致应该相同。但由于人与人之间有着很大差异，生活的环境不同，接受教育的内容不同，人与人之间才存在着不同。正因为有不同，每个人在世界上才显得是独一无二的，世界才显得更加丰富多彩，富有朝气。
篇三:《作文评语》
四字作文评语
记述类 词雅文练，写景生动。 布局新颖，用词简达。 娓娓细说，清婉可喜。 写景状物，入木三分。层次井然，结构严谨行文洒脱，趣味隽永。 淡远情逸，隽永含蓄。 平铺直叙，亦有情韵。 简洁流畅，意义深长。 言近旨远，不同凡味明察秋毫，描述生动。内容曲折，耐人